Big community funding update! Dating someone going through a divorce Hookup a woman whos going through a divorce 6, 3: How do you do it without getting hurt? She 24 likes me 32 Her 4-year-old daughter likes me. Her mother and sister like me. But she's not quite single—only separated and dealing with someone who's not a good husband but is apparently a decent father.
This one's kind of long. So, naturally, there's A mutual friend introduced the two of us to each other earlier this summer, and we hit it off well. No immediate romantic sparks, but we got along and—something that was especially important to her—I wasn't uncomfortable with her young daughter, and her daughter practically adored me from the start.
There were some lunches and dinners out, sometimes with her daughter, sometimes not. Lots of evenings out for drinks, too—sometimes with friends, sometimes just the two of us. Two weekends ago, I took her home to her place after a night out, and we ended up fooling around for a while and having sex. That definitely got the ball rolling in a certain direction. Then there were evenings over at her mother's place where she'd been staying ever since she made the decision to leave her husband and relocate here evenings over at mine, breakfasts out with her daughter and mother.
The mother took an instant liking to me, too. That first time with her ended an eight-year dry spell for me. I had almost forgotten I could do that. This past weekend, she officially moved out of her husband's house, in another state. I didn't travel in the rental van with her because I thought it would be best to stay away from what I knew would be an emotional time for her and her husband who doesn't know about me, but will when he sees this month's cell phone bill.
But once she got back here, I spent all Saturday, Sunday and Monday Labor Day helping her move in to her new apartment. Her daughter's car seat was in the back of my car for much of the weekend. It meant so much to me to see that she trusted me that much. She told me she has no regrets about us becoming involved the way we did, but I sensed something wasn't right when she was pretty emotionally distant from me this weekend, and she confirmed that and told me she felt guilty and confused and said she didn't want to rush things.
The problem is, we rushed from the beginning. We hit the ground running, I got used to that pace pretty quickly, and then things sort of came to a grinding halt and I'm pretty frustrated by the abrupt change.
I really like this young woman, and I think she knows that, but I don't want to just be the guy she calls when she needs to move some furniture, and I don't just want to be a fuck buddy. She introduced me to her family, who likes me, and she trusts me taking care of her daughter, who also likes me. I know that those two things wouldn't have happened if she didn't see something good in me, and I should just keep that Hookup a woman whos going through a divorce mind instead of fixating on the fact that we haven't kissed, had sex or even just slept together since she arrived back here with the full rental truck.
All she has asked me to do now is be there for her and be patient, which I'm willing to do, but I'm wondering if this is too challenging a situation for someone who's been single as long as I have and is now anxious to do everything I can to make this work.
I don't want to get taken advantage of. not what you want to hear, but don't push this.
Be a friend if you want to be a friend, but let her get through her divorce before you expect anything more. Be firm in this, don't let her call all the shots as far as your time together.
If she really cares for you then she will respect your wishes. She needs to concentrate now on grieving for her last relationship and learning how to be single mother. Do you want to be rebound boy for any longer than you already have?
Hookup a woman whos going through a divorce think the very first thing you need to do here is acknowledge that you are not the only vulnerable party in this relationship.
If she has only just moved her stuff out of her former marital home, it is still very early days for her in terms of coming to grips with her new life as a single parent and everything that that entails -- including the legal and emotional rocky road that usually precedes getting a divorce.
It's entirely likely that she is simply not ready for a new relationship. It does sound like she likes and trusts you enough to want to be ready, but these things take time and require patience. I'm wondering if this is too challenging a situation for someone who's been single as long as I have Well, you're the only one who can really answer that one. I will say this though, it seems to me like you're putting an awful lot of weight on being accepted and liked by her family, which is important, but not nearly as important as how she feels about you, and she might not really be sure how she feels just yet.
My advice is if you want to hang in there just take it slowly and enjoy each other for now and be prepared to re-evaluate the relationship preferably together a little while down the track.
I was once in a similar situation and it ended poorly. I dated a man once for about a year that was going through a divorce. He had separated from his wife just weeks before we met. No kids in his case, but I met his entire family, spent gobs of time at his house even helping him paintand had great sex. Although I had not been single for 8 years at the time that we met, I had been single for quite some time, was recovering from some personal problems, and was quite anxious to have a relationship work.
It ended abruptly when he decided to reconcile with his wife. I heard from him not too long ago, 3 years after the relationship ended. He was extremely sorry about the way he treated me. He explained that he actually did love me and valued the time we spent together.
The reconciliation with his wife did not go well. He has since become engaged to somebody else and realized the error of his ways in handling his first post-separation relationship. So yeah, I was the rebound. I don't think I was taken advantage of per se, just as I don't think she is taking advantage of you per se. I would believe her when she "Hookup a woman whos going through a divorce" she is confused.
It sounds like she genuinely likes you, just as I was genuinely liked. Of course, genuine feelings had nothing to do with the outcome of my relationship. It is a lot of work emotionally to support somebody through a divorce, especially if you're the one sleeping with that somebody.
When my relationship ended, I felt really ripped off and drained.
I was quite depressed. It took me quite a while to get back on my feet, but I did manage to rebuild my life better than it was before. I don't regret the time I spent in that relationship. It was what I needed at the time, and I had the patience to deal with it. Unfortunately, there is almost nothing you can do about the extremely high risk of being hurt and shit upon by this woman.
She needs to let the divorce process run its course. You won't be in a secure position until some time after the divorce decree is final. Even then, she is quite young and she may decide that she wants to play the field before getting tied down again. You can ask her to be more than a fuck buddy or "Hookup a woman whos going through a divorce" whore or whatever, but she may not be capable of giving you what you want right now. If you're not satisfied with what you're getting from her, then leave.
If you're willing to wait and take the risk it won't work out, then stay. Sounds like you're knee deep in it now, so either way it will be quite trying for you. She is 24, divorced, and had a kid at It doesn't sound like she's mature enough to make you anything except 'the guy she calls when she needs to move some furniture'. It's possible you're a rebound or an exit strategy but that doesn't necessarily mean it can't be a workable relationship.
Give her time to work out what she wants, she may like Hookup a woman whos going through a divorce play the field but then again she may be a serial monogamist and will be ok getting into another relationship. I'd say stay involved, but keep your eyes open that it might turn out to be exploitation, wouldn't you take care the same way getting involved with anyone?
How does her having a child at 20 and then divorced at 24 say anything about her maturity? Don't get emotionally involved until she is fully divorced.
Step back a little from where you are now.
This is a mess. You're looking for a relationship. She's looking for safety, comfort Someone who gets divorced is a mess for one year minimum post divorce. Her life is chaos. With the bonus of a 4 year old.
She is in the middle of feeling, lost, lonely, possibly unwanted - and you show her affection. Which may have very well been what she needed. But it sounds like you also prepared breakfast and asked her to move in. She's looking for comfort You're way too attached to a woman who needs space to amongst other things find herself again.
And her regrets, likely, are because
Hookup a woman whos going through a divorce moving way too fast. She may really need someone who is not you.
What she can't do right now Oh, I know you like the idea of the carseat in your car for days She's not even divorced yet. Who cares if her daughter or mother like you.
Realistically, she needs time, space, and understanding to figure her shit out. She went a little wild and began immersing herself by going to bars, Many women find it difficult to be in a casual sex relationship The happiness you feel is purely about physical pleasure, not about a personal connection. 7. This is just not safe unless you have a very good idea of who the man is.
There's nothing wrong with falling for a man going through a divorce. but it's natural to be curious, especially when dating someone who has been married before. Along with him having an ex-wife, this is a fact you cannot change. to stop dating him if you are looking for a genuine lasting connection. 6 Questions to Ask Before Engaging in Casual Sex After Divorce You're "Hookup a woman whos going through a divorce" one who has to live inside your head and body, you're the Mature woman smiling on a date with a man 21 Tips For Moving on After Divorce.