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Connect to your existing Cracked account if you have one or create a new Cracked username. We're starting to come to the conclusion that there is a seedy underbelly to every single job and industry in the world.

You wouldn't think that a child's birthday party would be a place where drunken adults would start surreptitiously throwing their genitals at strangers or maybe you would; we don't know what kind of childhood you had. But as Ken points out, if said stranger is a performer in costume, they're playing to somebody's fetish. His company sends out male and female performers in pairs, and there's a pretty good chance at least one of the two is triggering a weird boner at any given moment.

Ken does double duty as a traditional clown and any number of costumed characters -- whatever the parents ask for he's done superheroes, Dora The Explorer, the Cat In The Hat, Mickey and Minnie Mouse, etc. So, while the kids run around in the yard, says Ken, the adults get drunk in the living room, and when the main performance ends, the grownups ply the performers with vodka and come-hither stares.

He recalls one time when his partner was dolled-up as a redhead Cinderella and a sloshed father cornered her and repeatedly demanded her personal number. Ken himself has had the pleasure of dressing as Mickey and having a grandmother grind against him.

Performers go out in pairs -- one male "Bobo," when it's a clown and one female "Bubbles" -- so they can keep an eye out for each other.

But when they're not protecting each other from sexual advances, they're sometimes doing a little sexual advancement of their own. These Bobo-Bubbles hookups often happen in the car, right after the show.

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  • Also known as the thing that has basically replaced real dating over the past 20 years or so, and the thing that your parents and grandparents bitch about because "nobody has a real conversation anymore.
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